Malaysian Funny: Jokes, famous lines and stereotypes!

Chinese people
Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City andasks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officerthat he is going to China on business for two weeksand needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will needsome form of security for the loan, so the Chinese manhands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on thestreet in front of the bank. He produces the title andeverything checks out.

The Loan officer agrees to accept the car ascollateral for the loan. The bank's president and itsofficers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese forusing a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a$5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari intothe bank's underground garage and parks it there. Twoweeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy tohave had your business, and this transaction hasworked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.While you were away, we checked you out and found thatyou are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is whyyou would bother to borrow $5, 000.The Chinese replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car fortwo weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return?!"

1 marlaysia...
why dont we just make it 2 malaysia?
Marlaaay and non marlaay.

malaysia up there.
An Indian, a Chinese and a Malay were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all of them died before they arrived.

Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the Chinese, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present, asked him what happened.

"Well," said the Chinese, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Indian and the Malay and I were standing at the gates of heaven.

An Angel approached us and said that we were too young to die, and that for a donation of RM500, we could return to earth.

So, of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the RM500 and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors. "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them" replied the Chinese, "the Indian was bargaining over the price, and the Malay was waiting for the government to pay for his."

Malaysia K-9 Unit
Today i saw one pick up truck.
on the side in big big word it say Kastam Malaysia K-9 Unit.
Inside no dog. all malay -,-
Wtf?

Malaysian english (Ma-glish)
Malaysia English vs Britian English ...Who says our English is teruk. Just see below - Ours is simple,short,concise, straight-to-point, effective etc. The English did invent the English Language, but they cannot use it economically when communicating their intentions. Compare these phrases that Malaysians and Britons use to say the same thing: So, why make things so confusing and waste of money when you are and a long distance call.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Doe-waaaan!

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you'recoming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shaddap lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what see?! See what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why lidat????ADUI!!! (jumping to conclusion)

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let mne show you.
Malaysians:Hoi!!!u pig ar lidat also doe no how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians:Celaka u/LANCAUUUUUUUU/cibai la/puki mak/pu nya ma!!!